Healthy Relationships
Written by: Arya Dansinghani, Ailish Mckenna and Julie-ann Claude
Middletown Substance Use Prevention Council’s Youth Peer Advocate
February tends to be a time when people focus on relationships. Much of this comes from Valentine’s Day. However, throughout the whole month, we can focus on creating and fostering healthy relationships.
Human connection is vital for everyone and can be as important to our physical and mental health as exercise and good eating habits. In fact, research has shown that “social connection can lower anxiety and depression, help us regulate our emotions, lead to higher self-esteem and empathy, and actually improve our immune systems.” Our connections with our friends, families, and even colleagues play a huge role in our well-being. Positive relationships specifically can “encourage us to embrace and pursue opportunities that foster a sense of purpose and meaning in life.” This is in large part due to the support and encouragement that comes from being in a healthy relationship. When we’re having difficulties or going through a hard time, the support our healthy relationships provide can help to carry us through this adversity.
Stanford University explains that healthy relationships “allow the individuals in the relationship to feel supported and connected but still feel independent.” They are based on honesty, trust, respect, open communication, compromise, and mutual support and care. They go on to explain that unhealthy relationships are “relationships where one or more of the people involved exhibits behaviors that are not healthy and are not founded in mutual respect for the other person. Unhealthy relationships are not necessarily abusive relationships, but they can be. They also aren’t limited to romantic relationships. Unhealthy relationships include but aren’t limited to friendships and relationships with family members.”
Here are ten signs of an unhealthy relationship from the One Love Foundation. Manipulation is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. This can manifest itself as someone trying to control your actions or choices. Possessiveness is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. This can manifest itself as someone being jealous to the point of trying to control who you spend your time with. Isolation is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. This can manifest itself as someone trying to keep you away from other people specifically your family and friends. Sabotage is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. This can manifest itself as someone trying to tarnish your reputation or downplay your achievements. Belittling is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. This can manifest itself as someone doing or saying things to purposefully make you feel bad about yourself. Guilting is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. This can manifest itself as someone trying to make you feel responsible for their actions or emotions. Volatility is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. This can manifest itself as someone having unpredictable and strong reactions to things that may leave you feeling scared or confused. Intensity is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. This can manifest itself as someone having extreme feelings or over-the-top behavior that feels overwhelming. Betrayal is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. This can manifest itself as someone acting disloyal or being intentionally dishonest. Deflecting responsibility is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. This can manifest itself as someone constantly making excuses for their unhealthy or toxic behavior.
Here are ten signs of a healthy relationship from the One Love Foundation. Trust is a sign of a healthy relationship. This can manifest itself as you feeling confident that the other person in the relationship won’t do anything to hurt you or ruin your relationship. Honesty is a sign of a healthy relationship. This can manifest itself as you feeling like you can be truthful and open without worrying about how the other person in the relationship will respond. Independence is a sign of a healthy relationship. This can manifest itself as you feeling like you have space to be yourself outside of the relationship. Respect is a sign of a healthy relationship. This can manifest itself as valuing each other’s beliefs and opinions. Kindness is a sign of a healthy relationship. This can manifest itself as being caring and empathetic to each other and providing comfort and support. Equality is a sign of a healthy relationship. This can manifest itself through the relationship feeling balanced and like everyone is putting in the same effort. Taking responsibility is a sign of a healthy relationship. This can manifest itself as you owning your own choices, words, and actions. Healthy conflict is a sign of a healthy relationship. This can manifest itself as openly discussing issues and conflicts and respectfully confronting disagreements. Feeling comfortable with the pace at which your relationship is moving is a sign that it’s healthy. This can manifest itself as each person feeling content with the speed the relationship is moving. Fun is a sign of a healthy relationship. This can manifest itself as you enjoying spending time with the other person in the relationship.
Recognizing what makes a relationship unhealthy can help us strive toward achieving a healthy relationship and keep us safe and thriving.
Works Cited
“February: Healthy Relationships Month | SHARE Title IX.” SHARE Title IX Office, https://share.stanford.edu/education-and-outreach/education-and-outreach-programs/awareness-months/february-healthy. Accessed 25 February 2024.
“The importance of human connection – CMHA National.” Canadian Mental Health Association, 17 October 2019, https://cmha.ca/news/the-importance-of-human-connection/. Accessed 25 February 2024.